I'm feeling really angry lately. Issues with my ex, always issues with my ex.First of all, his pear-shaped wife likes to pretend she's his mommy and will shoot off e-mails under his address and pretend she's him. Ass that she is, doesn't she know that I'm an editor? That I possess a scintilla of intelligence (enough to figure the mystery out)? That I look for different "voices" in words? It pisses me off that they think they're so clever, so covert, so smart to "hoodwink" me.
I have to bolster myself to peer at their e-mails, because of the content, the tone, the veiled threats..."pursuant to paragraph three...blah, blah, blah." They believe in the philosophy if they type it, it's true.
J tells me to not let them bother me; don't hand them over the power. Easier said than done. I'm tired of fighting. How do they have the energy to constantly battle and prick and poke? Don't they have hobbies?
Fuckers.
I've tried to ignore them, resist them, use logic, be nice---none of it works. Maybe this is the great lesson I need to learn that I cannot control others' behavior, only mine. Yet, I still get punished. And so does our son. Why can't they see it's harmful to him in so many ways? Why can't they just go on and stop trying to do whatever suits them best, not The Boy?
I'm just pissed. Today. I've only got 10 more years of this.
11 comments:
don't you ever wonder what sick part of you was ever attracted to your ex???
Paisley, I judge myself harshly enough for my mistakes....and try to move on. I'm not the same person that I was then. I hope that you do not rehash who you were in your past lives. I don't think it's helpful, do you?
OK, so here's the thing to keep in mind. What a blessing you are to your son that you do not engage in what they do. That your first priority is him, not the fighting that your ex and Mrs Pear Shape are trying to get you to do. I work with kids and see that so many parents lose sight of the important thing (the kids) all in an effort to piss the other person off. You, my friend, get a jewel added to your crown.
I'm sorry they suck so bad. Some people just like drama and where there is none, they create it. That's why I hardly ever talk to my sister. All I hear is drama. I guess just ignore them when you can, tolerate them when you can't.
I read something the other day that said. "Don't take life to serious, it's not permanent." Of course it was written with a Sharpie.
J is right. I believe this is about power. I also believe they don't have power and are trying to gain it. Are they trying to trick you or are they trying to convince themselves?
Don’t you have a ‘block this person’ on your
E-gram box?,, maybe you should use it,, and
put a block on their phone number too…Let them
use snail mail,, if they can afford a stamp…
By letting them get you hotter than an egg on the
sidewalk in August,, YOU,, give them permission to
hurt you…
Be the hurricane that you are…
That will be $50 for the advice…..
Remember, Brenda: "Time flies."
Take it from a geezer, it does. It truly does. Just love your son. Love him dearly, fervently and unconditionally. Before you know, he'll turn to you, a full-grown man, a fine and worthy man...and he'll say "thank you."
Just love him, cherish him, teach him well, encourage him to dream BIG, and do right by him...that's all you need to do...And he'll love you, heart and soul...and you'll come to know that none of these e-mails, and hassles and total bullshit EVER mattered.
Just love your son...
Sue, I wish I could take that jewel, I do. But I am not perfect in this arean. I shouldn't react and let him get me angry. I don't know...it's always something. i'm working on it though
Jay, you're the best. You're right..I do tolerate it when I can. On some days, I just can't. But I hurt no one but myself so I need to focus.
Big Kev, it's always a power struggle with him. THat's why I left. I think you're right in that I need to rmember it's about them, not me. Advice taken.
GT, good words. I often forget I have the power. Although I have never fried an egg on the sidewalk in August---I'm assuming it's pretty hot! And thanks for reminding me of my hurricaneness! TY. Check's in the mail...
Jonas, your words always get to me. Always. Thank you for reminding me what's important and what I need to do. Actually,your words made me cry--they're so heartfelt and beautiful. Old Geezer (said in love/jest)just keep reminding me....
You have an admirable amount of patience and tolerance. I wish I had as much as you have.
I am so sorry you have to go through this on a regular basis. I would get mad too. I really hate manipulation and niggling at people. So many of my friends have to put up with this and they try not to react but some men can't seem to let go of the hold they once had over their ex-wives. I don't know what it is but it seems they just live to hurt their former partner.
One of my friends found herself in a situation very similar to yours and Jonas is so wise because when my friend's son turned 18 he told his Dad he was sick of all the manipulation, that his Mum had been solid and dependable for years, and that as far as he was concerned if his Dad didn't back off he could go and 'F**k himself.'
I feel for you right now, however, because your little boy sees what's going on and probably feels quite powerless. Give him a hug for me. Take it easy, my dear. Thinking of you.
I could have written this post.
I spent 5 grand on my sons summer camp, and 1000 on summer clothes....his father? didnt even buy him a pair of sneakers.
I feel your anger.
On Every Single Level.
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