Metaphysical Pyramid Answer

I asked if anyone could figure out the title or header of a list of items that follows:

• A picnic basket set
• Popcorn tins
• Fancy crystal drinking glasses
• A cone (it goes over your whole head) hair dryer
• An espresso machine
• A framed island print
• Halloween decorations
• A dress

The answer would be: Things Laurie Bought that were supposed to Make Her Happy. The list of items was short compared to the things--the damned things--I've purchased in my life that either have quickly bored me or eventually were thrown out like yesterday's meal scraps.

A picnic basket set: I purchased this as a newlywed; I had to have it because I envisioned all these weekend picnics of wine and cheese and long conversations on lazy summer Sundays. Never happened. I had a picnic once in my backyard when my son was small.

Popcorn tins: I have stacks of seasonally decorated popcorn tins from my popcorn business I opened with one of my sisters. It failed, we didn't speak for a very long time and although I don't regret it, I wish I had been a different person at that time and handled things differently. Opening up my own business was supposed to make me happy.

Fancy crystal drinking glasses: One of the fine gifts I registered for my wedding. Fancy glasses meant entertaining and fancy parties and holidays, right? We hosted one Thanksgiving dinner in this house and didn't use the glasses because people complained they were to0 heavy.

A cone (it goes over your whole head) hair dryer: This was going to revolutionize my life. When I was young and spent hours primping, I felt that while my hair dried under this stationary overhead dryer, that I would be able to read, do my nails, do a pedicure--all while my up-in-curlers hair dried. I think I used it a few times but realized it took so much longer than a hand dryer and I was soooo bored. Use it now? The primping days are eons ago. . .

An espresso machine: Again, an appliance I acquired during my marriage, which again spoke to having people over, long conversations into the night and laughter. Too bad he was antisocial.

A framed island print: Sadly, I don't remember the rhyme or reason to this purchase. Enough said.

Halloween decorations: Holidays used to excite me and cause me to jump up and down. Having the perfect decorations to plant in and out seemed like the right thing to do as a homeowner. The end result doesn't seem to warrant all the hassle now.

A dress: Not just a dress, the dress. Saw it on the mannequin and had to have it . Black top and ruffled two-tiered black-and-white checked skirt. I saw me in evenings at the ballet and opera. Oh, I've been. Just not in that dress. Doesn't fit anymore.

Dear reader, so much more I could add to this list but you get the point. I have attempted to acquire states of beings via things, which is never a good strategy. But I sadly thought if I have the perfect things a perfect life would follow, right?

I once attended a wedding shower with gifts so elaborate it made me uncomfortable. The bride and groom were gifted with kitchen appliances, a bedroom set, a living room set, every small appliance imaginable, an island honeymoon. . .etc. Oh, and a down payment for a suburban home. No kidding.

This young couple divorced before their second anniversary. They were separated before they reached the first anniversary milestone. There was a lot of fighting and bitterness over all this stuff. Her in-laws were livid that their generous down payment on the marital house was actually going to be split 50-50 for a barely-there daughter-in-law.

Things distract us and clutter our lives. We desire gadgets and slave to pay for those gadgets. And cars and room additions.

When will it all stop?